Exercise – is by far the best replacement behavior. It burns calories, diminishes hunger, releases endorphins and energizes the spirit – it contributes to overall health and well being while toning the body. Depending on your starting point you can begin with small changes in activity. Take the stairs a few times a day at the office. Park 10 minutes from your destination. Use commercials during your favorite TV show to stretch or do a few jumping jacks. It’s that simple!

Become aware – Become conscious, aware of what you’re choosing and why. Stop justifying. Remember, thought has energy and energy gets stuck in the body. It is your thoughts about events that originally created the emotional eating pattern it’s your thoughts that have the power to change the situation. Tune into the emotions you have when overeating and shortly thereafter. Is there something you’re in denial about?… Not wanting to acknowledge, pretending something didn’t happen?…Given up on something?…..Perhaps your punishing yourself – whatever it may be, in order to heal it you will need to feel it.

STOP Abusing your Body -The body is a chemical factory and our bio chemistry impact, trigger and create emotional states. For example sugar and caffeine both can stimulate stress hormones in the body contributing to mood fluctuation potentially driving you to binge more. When you mess with your body like this your thinking suffers too. This can be a vicious cycle.

Dominant Emotions - As you frequent an emotion you are training your body; the body begins to expect emotions it regularly visits and can even generate them. The more you beat yourself up emotionally, the more you will likely do so in the future – interrupt the limiting actions immediately! And congratulate yourself when you do.

Express Yourself – Do not repress feelings. Learn to communicate respectfully and honestly before you find yourself ruminating on a situation with a bag of chips in your hand with a tub of Hagen Daaz awaiting you.

Get Out Of Victimville!
We’ve all had a chance to visit Victimville at one time or another. It’s no fun at all. Victimville is where you may visit when you become prey to a life choice, a person, or, if you break it down, your own thinking. If you are an emotional eater you have allowed yourself to become victim to something, figure out what that is and no longer indulge the urge when your victim thinking arises.

Create Neuro Associations - Begin to associate food with growing pant size not the sensory experience. You can associate self control with saying no to this habit.

Visit the Cost – Tune into what emotional eating is costing you in your life. Really allow yourself to feel the impact on yourself and others. What is your impact?….self esteem, intimacy, health issues, worrying the people around you still worth it to indulge in Ben and Jerry’s?… I think not…

Create a MANTRA Here’s mine. Nothing tastes as good as lean feels. Moderation. Feeling wonderful in your own skin is marvelous and something everyone can experience – find a slogan or Mantra that reminds you of your commitment to emotional and physical well being.

Courses -Take a three day rah-rah course and really address the feelings, the blocks and obstacle in your life – in your thinking, that have you resort to emotional eating.

Train your Brain - Just like the process of training yourself to reach for food in a state of emotional reaction (though it was likely unconscious) you can now program the success trait to regularly exercise. Give up how you feel about it and just do it! Get to the gym, go for a walk, 20 minutes is all you need to reap the many benefits.

In the case of Tiger Woods here is a man who had achieved so much so young. The world admired his skills, his focus and ability to command unprecedented sums of sponsorship dollars. We enthusiastically cheered for him as he changed the face of golf and broke an ancient color barrier when he slipped on that legendary green jacket after winning the Masters. We were so proud of you Tiger. We were proud of all you represented. Then he married a stunning women, grace – is the word that comes to mind after the entire world witnessed her personal life tragically fall apart. Incredibly she carried on with poise, an unwavering commitment to her children, loyalty to her family, to her husband. We know so little about her and yet, I believe most would agree she has handled this situation remarkably well. The one woman who didn’t sell out – the one who could have easily justified doing so. You married a classy lady Tiger.

So what compels a seemingly smart man, that appeared to have everything – to trade in such an exceptional women for a Hooters girl? (with all due respect to the Hooters girls they are making a living)
In this case I would suggest a few possibilities – emptiness being one. The human void, we have all experienced after pursuing a goal only to realize it did not hold the key to happiness as once thought. Of course, human beings love to conquer things. So here he is, at the top of his profession, the wealthiest athlete in the world, the perfect family. Couldn’t that be enough?… Sadly, I would surmise the only time Tiger was feeling remotely alive recently, was when he was off with one of his “mistresses” or devising a clever rendezvous.

Another factor to look at is how we have raised men. The majority of men in our generation are raised to be strong, you know; suck it up. We see little boys fall down and scrape their knee only to be told you’re okay, walk it off, be a man . Really? A three year old cannot express himself? Clearly this isn’t working…. A female child in the same situation is given a hug and hears; that hurt didn’t it? Are you alright? – validation. The antiquity of such parenting techniques reverberate throughout our misguided society and are reflective in the ever soaring divorce rate. Like it or not, with good intentions, we have conditioned men such that there are few times when they can truly express themselves without judgment – without being called a wuss. – Sex is one act where we’ve granted permission to be close and connected, somewhat vulnerable, even if only physically – they’re allowed to express emotion around sex. The rest of the time they are expected to hold it together and be strong. Are they not human beings with feeling and insecurities like the rest of us?…

Dr. Candice Pert, Author and Scientist discovered the opiate receptors in the brain back in the 70′s. It’s a fascinating read for anyone to better understand behavior of self and those around you – including obesity, drugs etc. – Entitled Molecules of Emotion it touches on emotional addictions and recognizes that the body unconsciously creates (and possibly even attracts) circumstances and situations to fulfill on the bio chemical needs of the cells of the body. Evidence our bodies experience emotional addictions. It is possible people who cheat may have experienced a great deal of guilt as a child, felt not good enough, or some version of this to the point it became part of their identity – a biological pull to engage in a familiar emotion . So when coupled with a poor decision making process, stress, or a few beers, or the urge may seem irresistible and the intellect is all too happy to justify it without considering consequence. Human beings can justify anything, if you doubt this just turn on the news for 2 minutes.

A common justification for cheaters is it was only sex, it didn’t mean anything, some people are able to disconnect, or, are so emotionally numb that another person becomes a masturbation tool. Though that may be the experience for the male, when you love someone, that involves caring what things mean for the other person involved nothing to the philanderer, could mean utter devastation to the person on the receiving end of the infidelity not to mention the people around them that pick up the pieces, or the children that witness their mother having a breakdown or even growing up with the stigma that Dad is a dog. Sex addictions are becoming common place. Is porn not a better option if you are in a relationship?

Lastly, with an under developed sense of self worth, there is a propensity to look outside for a temporary and false sense of well being, an escape . The process of seeking externally to fill the empties, a void, something that can only be filled from within. Some use drug, many food, and increasingly sex. And yes, you can absolutely be the best in your field of endeavor and still carry feelings of ill worth.

Perhaps, this is a wake up call for what is not working in the world. Much like drinking and driving, there is a hefty residual impact and terrific ramification when people fore go logic and common sense for careless immediate gratification, that generally leave them feeling empty and guilty a short time afterward anyway. So you have trained yourself to take a taxi – why not take up tantra with your partner of admit that it’s over and leave like a man…that has integrity.

A duplicitous lifestyle hurts all parties involved and creates a big mess that can take a life time for many to recover from.Tiger has disappointed the public; (big deal, we’ll get over it) – but likely, his children and family will not. Personally, he is in for a lifetime of self loathing and for what?…

Being a decent human is a choice.Not always an easy one, but a choice all the same. A recent study indicates that after our parents, our romantic relationships directly affect and shape who we become in life.
So, to all of you (men and women) who have cheated, or, are considering doing so; care enough for that person you say you love, those children you claim to care for. Memories cannot be erased and healing deep emotional wounds is an energetic and timely process that requires tremendous fortitude not everyone has, or is capable of this level of healing.

How nice it would be if the philanderer had some distinguishing features, like a bindi dot, and could be matched together with other philanderers and live happily ever after on antibiotics!

When human beings feel threatened, our tiny but powerful adrenal glands above the kidneys release a teaspoon of adrenaline. This chemical sends a message to the brain to increase blood flow to the lungs, arms and legs. It also restricts flow to what it considers the non essential areas of the body. Can you guess what areas are considered non essential? The brain, specifically the frontal lobe in the brain, the very part we rely on for problem solving. Of course, if you happen to encounter a black bear this extra blood flow can be very helpful when you need to RUN for your life!

The quandary being, this primal reflex – now a days is frequently triggered when feeling emotionally threatened. As this happens many of us forget our intention was to reach a solution or to better understand our partner, boss or friend. You’ll know when this occurs because there is a shift from communication to the urge to pull out your verbal warfare and attack. STOP! You are not thinking clearly. Breathe in deeply. Exhale and repeat until you reach a state where you are certain blood flow has resumed to your vital areas.

Act Boldly and unforeseen forces will come to your aid- When we approach life with a determination that no obstacle will stop us along our path miracles occur. Resolve to achieve your goals no matter what!

Slow Down Your Mind - We have on average 50,000 – 70,000 thoughts a day, that’s one every 1.1 second; approximately half of these thoughts are repetitive and at least 25% of those are self deprecating. Take time to slow down you mind with calming activities such as, swimming, walking, meditation or yoga.

Start Fresh -It’s never too late to start your day over. So you had a challenging day. You do have the option to release whatever and start fresh. Ask yourself how significant is this in the big picture? Chose to respond verses react, to forgive over holding a grudge and to laugh instead of crying. It’s your life choose!

Live in the Moment- Give up the Someday, One day, When Day western mentality that you will reserve joy and happiness for when your business is finally thriving, you lose that extra weight, your credit card are paid off or you meet The One. Life is happens now!

Let go of the Past Consider we have a limited number of mental units in our brain to address situations, projects and life. When we are stuck on the past it limits what we can create for our future. The more units used up on negative experiences and things left hanging, the less available to create wonderment for our future.

Challenge your comfort zone- The experience of pride and great life lessons are achieved by one’s ability to step into the unknown and the willingness to risk failure. Make it a habit to act independent of fear. This is where your world expands and dreams are actualized.

Plan your Life – like your life depends on it – it does.

The Bumble Bee Philosophy- Our scientists after much study determined aerodynamically the bumblebee cannot fly. If the Bee were human it would probably stop flying because it was told it’s not possible. Consider you are condition to believe what is possible for you and the world when in reality we have no idea the greatness we can attain. Challenge your belief systems, start exploring who you can be without constraints from the past. If you doubt one person can make a difference I have one word for you GANDHI.

Take it to the Next Level Michael Jordon, one of the greatest basketball players of all time reviews his performance on video after each game regardless of win or loss. He is not looking for what is wrong but rather for what’s missing the presence of which would make a difference in taking his game to the next level. What would take your game to the next level?

Honor Your Loved One By Living there is what we call survivors guilt where people stop living and can go into morning, sadly, sometimes forever. This is the last thing your partner, parent, child or friend would want for you. Remember that; they would want you to live, to feel alive, they would not want to be the reason you gave up. You can miss them and at the same time honor them by living.

Manage your Well being – In periods of heightened emotional stress it is important to get plenty of rest, fluids and eat lots of clean proteins, fish, chicken, and tofu.Be advised now is not the best time for alcoholic beverages or any other sedative type medication if you can manage with out DO. You will need to feel this to Heal it as unpleasant as it can be. Be brave and utilize your support system.

Perspective remember though death is difficult it is also very normal part of life and it is a reminder of how little we actually know. We don’t know what happens to people when they die, where they go…why they go – death can be an unconscious reminder of how little we truly understand life.

Acceptance- their physical presence may be gone however their legacy lives on. Nothing can undo the experience of love and joy you shared with someone. Look for ways to honor them in a manner that has you feeling powerful and alive. It may be creating a charity for your loved one and one of their passions, do it with gratitude for what they brought to your life.

Be in the moment they will always be a part of you and your greatest power is found living in the now. Push yourself to be active, try new things, accept invitations, it may take some time eventually it will get easier the key is to put yourself into the surroundings of people and new activities regardless of what you feel like at the moment.

Remember the Great Times and do it in a manner where there is joy. Feeling sorry for yourself will slow down the healing process and can result in long term depression and other physical ailments. Keep your memories in a healthy context.

Reach out- now is the time to reach out to people, open up, be engaged, accept that helping hand. We are meant to be connected with others, put aside the pride or the need to get through things alone and let people in. People, love, hugs are a catalyst for healing. Let it happen.

Goals- One of the greatest gift you can give yourself is a goal. Take a cruise, open a new business, renovate your home, join a group or simply get out there! When we create things in our future we are less likely to get stuck in the past. It also support us in feeling ALIVE!

Make a difference for others- One way to expedite the healing process is to talk to others on what you went through and what helped you dealing with the pain and emotions. When you reach out to others not only are you in the moment but you are able to step outside of the pain to get another perspective. This is truly a gift.

Timing Consume your large meal between 12:00 4:00 in the day. This insures your daily activity level to best balance out the calories consumed.

Healthy Snacks Nibble on almonds, dried fruit, apples and seeds in between meals for a little boast. Numerous studies show people who have 5 – 6 mini meals per day lose weight and over all increase in optimal health . One meal could consist of 20 almonds and an apple or mango. Protein and fiber, very sustaining and supports brain function omegas.

50/50 If you make each of your reasonably portioned meals to consist of half carb with meat/fish (protein) and the other half fruit and vegetables chances are you will notice an improvement very quickly.

Limit Cheese- Cheese in itself is not necessarily bad for you -it does however contain a fair amount of fat along with hormones and antibiotics. Goat cheese is the most favorable of cheeses as it is easy to digest and less foreign to the body than cows milk. The main issue with cheese is how it reacts in the body. Cheese stimulates mucus production which makes it difficult for your body to flush out toxins and anything for that matter.Think about it. – It’s much like adding glue to your system. Eating too much cheese slows down the digestive track allowing toxins to flow back in to your system and promotes constipation. Enjoy cheese, but like all great things, do so in moderation.

Chew your food well Part of the macrobiotic diet is to bring awareness to your meal time. Chewing your food thoroughly has it assimilate easily. Be conscious of each bite, the flavor, the texture and really tune into the savory experience.

Take the Stairs don’t under estimate how little choices can make a difference over time. Take the stairs. Park a few rows away from the door at the mall. Walk when seasonally permits. Make it a lifestyle commitment to put a bit of extra energy in.

Exercise The YMCA has fabulous equip with personal TV’s. Watch a movie and walk for an hour and the half. There are also a range of classes and I am told if you cannot afford it – they will subsidize your membership so no excuses that it’s not in your budget.

Create a Team Get a Nutritionist. A Personal Trainer or Life Coach. Someone who partners with you and helps you create a life vision and execute a plan with you for; goal succession, exercise and dietary balance.

Balance the Body – Perhaps try acupuncture to stimulate your metabolism and put your system back in balance. Yoga is a wonderful light exercise with benefits including increased well being , better sleep and fabulous toning – one class a week will do wonders.

Supplements consult a book, or, an expert and find the supplements that supports your system.

Drivepasts Replace ‘drive-thru’ with the ‘term drive’-past. If you must go – skip the fries and remove half of the bun and ditch the ketchup and mayo. This can make a significant difference over time – better yet, keep driving. It’s not food anyway. When eating nutritionally void meals you will automatically consume more to compensate for the lack of nutrients.

Evening Nibbles Train yourself not to eat in the evening or, to have light snacks such a cereal, veggie stick, nuts or yogurt drinks. Only eat until just satiated.

ADHD, in my opinion, is doctors attempt to label what they cannot explain. There can be several factors. First place to check is with the diet. There are several food allergies that impact mental clarity and deplete concentration – ADHD is the lack of ability to focus nad with the products offer in the supermarket we label ‘food’ it’s no surprise. I would suggest children and adults eliminate caffeine for extended periods of time and see if there is any improvement, many people have caffeine intolerance or reaction. This includes chocolate. Begin with the diet. Diets in high preservatives will not support optimal brain function, most packages food are so low in nutritional value fasting may be healthier (I am not suggesting that, but if you could not buy it 75 years ago at a market eliminate it).
ADHD is often treated with drugs to help stimulate chemicals in the brain. Though this is one option to get an improved result it is the same idea as taking a pain killer for back pain or a diet pill with your twinkie it does not address the issue at the source.

In North America the attention span of children and adults has declined significantly with technology. People look for things to stimulate them and expect a quick fix. We see a lot less reading and activities that naturally engage the frontal lobe and creates feel good chemicals that help us concentrate. ADHD is a sign of the times. In Buddhism this is called simply – Monkey Mind. There can also be emotional factors for ADHD – it is much more likely to be found in families with emotional challenges and struggles than in an environment of great stability and routine. From childhood if you are never taught to complete things, sit still and remain at the dinner table until everyone is finished their meal, or be responsible for say small chores daily I would propose is the type of behavior that promotes what they call ADHD. Teaching a child (or adult) to discipline themselves with small tasks is productive behavior in developing concentration.
ADHD is what I would label simply overactive brain patterns. Given the chief function of the body is to transport the brain around I would say begin with diet. Eliminate fast food, things the body does not process naturally. Really… no nitrated sandwich meats or cheese what so ever, no caffeine, any sugars should be natural. Switch to all fruits and veggies, chicken and fish (not breaded and no pop!). Get tested for food allergies and sign up for Tae Kwon Doe, Yoga or Tai Chi. I guarantee this will make the difference between having to have you child deal with the stigma of medication for the rest of their life or not. At least try these things prior to medications.
Also, encourage your child (or yourself) to stick with things, even if it means you are near to tears doing so going past the part where your brain wants to move on to the next item of immediate gratification is where the breakthrough will be. Once the brain has a few references of times it operated fully concentrate, or continued to bring the attention back to the task until complete – the brain can now access this as ‘evidence’ it can follow through. Repetitious brain patters are much like a muscle the first few times it is painful or may shake from shock, after several workouts that muscle is stronger. Your brain patterns and habits are the same.

As a parent be cautious what you subscribe to, even if it comes from an ‘expert’. If you start labeling a child, and they hear it – and you are making excuses for them, this easily becomes a self fulfilling prophecy that ultimately lowers the child’s expectations of themselves and what’s possible.

Watch your dialogue If you react like ‘ I am dying‘ you engage the victim inside of you and it will amplify things. Your chances of dying when you are in a poor state of mind are far, far higher. Don’t mess around! Consider it’s more resistance which is likely what led you here in the first place. Now is a time to come to peace with all of your issue and poor choices, or, lifestyle and accept what life has brought you and choose it – whatever it is.

Embrace this as a wake-up call to change the way you have been thinking, acting, perhaps the people you have taken for granted, or, maybe have been unkind to you – you have the right to choose to spend time with only nurturing loving people that can help you heal. Take control! Clean house. This includes family.

Remember -you are living with cancer, not dying with it. Exercise gratitude for this wake up call and recognize it’s opportunity to make the very important changes in your life. Most of us live feeling as we are full of tomorrows. When you are diagnosed with a potentially terminal illness you are gifted with reverence for the moments you have, now , today…appreciate them. Appreciate your life and those who are sharing it with you.

Be strong – it is common especially after divorce for one partner to end up ill. I believe the rate is around % 60 post divorce or break up. It may be tempting to run to your ex hoping you may now get that emotion and sympathy – If they weren’t there before when you needed them – do you really want them there out of guilt?… let go, have pride and dignity and focus on healing and assisting others who need an ear.

Create a dream list- what have you always wanted to do?… Paint in Paris, create an audio cd, write a book, public speak, help charities, spend more time with your children?… Do it! And do it in a way you are full present.

Get light- Illness can be heavy and the thoughts of ‘will I die before, seeing my kids grow up, being in love, starting a business’, are really detrimental to healing. Stay in the moment, think in terms of ‘there is plenty of time for everything’. Positive thought are crucial! And you can do it!

Create a Life line- You must have a will to live. Is it to go to your nephews graduation, complete that book, witness the birth of the baby, take that vacation – focus on things in your future and you being there for them.

Train people around you to be positive – thoughts have energy, if you are surrounded by people worried when you are going to drop – this will create a negative force. Ask people to visualize you at certain events in the future and to operate in their minds that you will make it through, no matter how many times they must reaffirm it. This is NON- NEGOTIABLE!

Carpe Diem – seize the moment. Live in the NOW – it is all there is!

Don’t ask why! Ask how do I heal and what do I need to learn from my current experiences and emotions. Become stronger than ever before.