“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”
Oprah Winfrey

Milton Event:
May 19th, 7-9pm Hawthorne Village Public School Milton Ontario.
For tickets contact ticketsforbarbara (@) gmail.com

$20 for tickets

Richmond Hill:
May 18: 7:00-9:00pm at Richland Academy,
11570 Yonge St., Richmond Hill, ON.
For tickets 905-224-5600.

Barbara Coloroso is an international bestselling author and for the past 38 years an internationally recognized speaker and consultant on parenting, teaching, school discipline, positive school climate, bullying, grieving, nonviolent conflict resolution and restorative justice.

She has appeared on Oprah, CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN and NPR and has been featured in the New York Times, Time, U.S. News & World Report, Newsweek, and other national and international publications.

Her uniquely effective parenting and teaching strategies were developed through her years of training in sociology, special education, and philosophy, as well as field-tested through her experiences as a classroom teacher, laboratory school instructor, university instructor, seminar leader, volunteer in Rwanda, and mother of three grown children.

She is the author of four international bestsellers: kids are worth it! Giving Your Child the Gift of Inner Discipline; Parenting Through Crisis—Helping Kids in Times of Loss, Grief and Change; The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander—From Pre-School to High School, How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence; and Just Because It’s Not Wrong Doesn’t Make It Right—From Toddlers to Teens, Teaching Kids to Think and Act Ethically.

Teach your child to be a free thinker -
Ask your child for her opinion on a range of topics and validate her perspective. Appropriate responses may sound like this; interesting, fantastic, how did you think of that? As you do this, note; you are not to evaluate whether the opinion is right or wrong, or even consistent with your own. Rather, help her to become fluent in her own opinions. Doing so illustrates respect and sends the message that not only is she supported, but that it’s safe for her to express her beliefs. If she is not able to do this in the security of her own environment, it is unlikely she will ever feel comfortable having a voice in the world.
When a child has an early neural pattern, (brain pattern), that’s says; ‘I’m valued’ – it cultivates a healthy self concept to build on. The pattern already exists, as does the opportunity to add to it. It also reinforces the ability to embrace a range of diverse views which translates into respect among other cultures, religion and humanity in general.
Make sure you child learns they have something to contribute to the world, because they do – yes, even at 4 years of age.
If you begin with the end in mind, you are in fact raising adults, not children.

Goal setting for kids -
Goal setting teaches children how to achieve. Age four or five is a great time to initiate goals conversations, and any age can benefit. Introduce the concept and start small, perhaps learning how to tie shoes laces, or, saving up for a small toy. The goal process instils creative thinking and fosters perseverance. When you introduce goal setting early on, it has the child become adept at getting what they want out of life. It also cultivates success patterns that they can build on and provides a powerful context of making things happen – when they say so. This is guaranteed to serve them throughout life.

Choice and accountability –
Bottom line human beings need to experience choice. The absence of choice can leave both little and big people feeling stifled and trapped. When you offer your child options, be it a meal, clothing, or a sport, – the child becomes adept at making their reality happen, as opposed to feeling as if the world is happening to them.
Now, if little Johnny picked soccer this year and a few weeks into practise he decides he prefers hockey; gently remind him he chose soccer. Right now his job is to manage the choice he made and follow through on his commitment. Of course, he can choose hockey the following season but have him be accountable for the current choice – after all he did make it.
This is an age appropriate principle to be applied within reason. Obviously you’re not going to allow a 3 year old to change their bedtime or, pick any movie out from the video store. You can however, allow little Logan dress to himself. Even if he feels khakis and a purple button down looks smashing with his pirate belt. And so what if he wears his favourite shirt 3 days in a row. He’s exercising choice over his wardrobe and discovering the power to influence his environment in the process.

Be an Example –
In life if you’re a victim to a situation you are powerless to change it – move away from blame no matter how tempting. Victimization and happiness cannot co-exist. Remember this as a rule and model this for your children. You can do this by making the most of your life, regardless of circumstance. Illustrate conflict resolution, growth, change, courage and all the things that helps an individual develop fortitude. Show your child firsthand how to act in spite of fear. This includes being accountable for the experiences and people you attract in your life. Circumstances rarely define an outcome – attitude does. Your child benefits significantly by watching you challenge yourself and tackle your own life issues – teach them how to live with enthusiasm!

Let them fail –
It’s one of the most fundamental lessons of success. It helps develop resilience and offers a firsthand experience of life as a numbers game. Our greatest lessons in life rarely surface without adversity. As a parent, you will have the urge to protect and shield your little one from disappointment – manage this urge. I’m not say remove the baby gates so your 2 year old can learn about stairs and gravity. However, you can allow your 5th grader try out for the rep team even if you feel certain he lacks the aptitude to play at that level. You never know what will be born through the experience.
The real world involves ups and downs. The key is not to shield children per say; but rather teach them how to manage obstacles, stay focused on the outcome and identify learnings’ to apply in future situation. Life is unfair at times and we all experience disappointments. Kids benefit significantly when they learn how to pick themselves up and re-course.
A child that is sheltered from challenges can become an adult who falls apart and runs and hides at the first sign of rejection. That’s no way to live. If you haven’t learned this yourself, now is the time. Many great things in life come down to trial and error – success is one of them.

Encourage debate -
Remember, just because you are older than your child does not necessarily mean that you’re wiser – especially within the context of what’s possible. Consider, they may see things that you cannot. If they disagree with one of your rules, generously allow them the opportunity to present their case. Move away from dictatorship in your house hold and operate within a democracy.
If your 12 year old is a well adjusted child, and she wants a part time job – maybe she knows what she can handle. Have her propose all the reasons and begin the process to convince you why she is in fact capable of handling whatever she wants to take on. Any impressive case should be met with a trial and perhaps an acknowledgment of creativity and for standing up with conviction for what they . It’s time to give up knowing; she may be able to maintain her grades, while managing all of her current commitments if you simply give her a chance. When you give children permission to WOW you – they often seize the opportunity.

Trust –
The main objective as a parent is to equip your child with tools and healthy brain patterns to live a successful life. Your job is to help them discover who they are – not create who they are. Think guidance not government. Most parents want their children to have an easy life and make choices that result in a happy existence. The fact is, how many parent go about this is actually counter- productive. They impose their beliefs about what is right for a child or teenager, often resulting in conflict on both ends. The human spirit is very delicate, if and when a child or, adolescence shuts down, it can be very difficult to restore their spirit to its natural state. Trust you have equip your kids values and tools for life; that you have taught them to think for themselves and stand up when it matters. Exercise faith that they have an internal compass of who they are becoming in the world, regardless of whether or not you understand it. Above all else get out of their way and become a cheerleader for whatever it is they want!

Agreement is not respect -
Many parents want their children to agree with their beliefs. Stop that! Unless it involves safety let your child determine their own individual perspective. They can love you, and you them, while sharing varying views. Children will repress parts of themselves that are not embraced by the parent gods. It takes a strong person to allow others their beliefs, without attempting to conform them to agreement – especially in a family environment.
Honoring your child’s beliefs is no different than respecting your neighbor’s choice of car color, or, religion. You show your child the ultimate reverence when you honor who they choose to be. You are also modeling extraordinary parenting techniques for your future grandchildren.

Communicate from Love –
Children receive messages based on the dominate emotion within the communication, not necessarily the words or, information you’re intending to relay. A raised voice implies disapproval and anger, even if it’s raised due to safety or concern. Be conscientious of the emotion behind your words, particularly when having crucial conversations with children. Be sure to tune into the love you have for your child and communicate from that perspective.

Help them earn-
Be it a lemonade stand, a garage sale, walking a neighbour’s dog, a part time babysitting gig or yard work. The power and freedom that comes with earning has children get acquainted with generating money before it becomes a necessity. It creates a sense of independence and control over their life.
A young mind that can see earning as fun and playful, will likely build on that and enjoy a long rewarding career with various revenue streams. And just think, in the future this may present as the difference between living in a retirement home or, settling in with care, in the west wing, of your grown child’s Estate.

Robin H-C is quoted in the June issue of Parent magazine.

This inspiring conference call provides tools to access new results by offering powerful life practices for change.

• Reconnect with courage, enthusiasm and conviction
• Design a support system to execute results, and act NOW!
• Create space for joy and uncertainty
• Master the ability to live with choice, dissolve redundant patterns – expand your comfort zone and get MORE of what you want from LIFE!

This 40 minute call is FREE of charge. Friday April 8th, 2011 12:30 EST

Conference Dial-in Number: (610) 214-0000

Participant Access Code: 1088541#

Please send an email to confirm along with any questions you’d like addressed.

Thank you!

Does any of this sound familiar? All of your reasons and excuses that you have for not achieving your goals can be there again in 2010, and quite frankly they’ll be there as always in the absence of an interference pattern. Or, you can choose to commit no matter what and find ways to connect to and develop – a new level of self. Let’s explore what it will take to transition your vision into a reality.

Get to The Truth – Take a thorough look at the reality of the situation you would like to transform. Tune into the impact of overspending, binge eating or having little time for your family. Ask yourself; who do my choices impact and in what way? Is my current lifestyle reflective of my value system? What will this change mean to myself and those around me?

Plan – One of the reasons New Year’s Resolutions fail is due insufficient planning. The first thing you must do to successfully prepare for any new endeavor is to make a plan. A plan consists of all identifying the specific action steps necessary to fulfill on your vision. This is incredibly helpful especially so on days when you may not feel like taking action; simply look at the plan and follow instructions knowing results will eventually arrive. For weight loss your plan may include limiting or even eliminating sugar and fast food, eating smaller portions, adding fruits and veggies, exercising and increasing your physical activity level. The specifics offer you clarity on the behaviors that are essential to your results.

Be Inspired – People rarely succeed on discipline alone so get in touch with why you want what you want. Is it to start a business to make a difference in peoples’ quality of life? Perhaps some of your lifestyle changes are inspired by the desire to be a better role model for a child or to heal an illness. Tune into the emotion of how you’ll feel when you’re finally organized, healthy, or financially free.
Benefits – By tuning into the benefits of achieving your target you will naturally intensify your motivation to continue to make choices consistent with the outcome of the goal. Look at it this way. Would you give up your impulsive shopping habit, in favor of a little lakeside cottage?… I thought so. Keep in mind you will become more inclined to budget yourself when you have a clear vision of what it means to your life over the long term to do so. Make a list of all the compelling reasons to meet you New Year’s Resolution.

Design a team – of people that will encourage you and nudge you in the right direction if you wavier. This could be a coach, a buddy, a partner or even a mastermind group. Make sure your support person or team is in tune with your intentions and can encourage you in a positive way. Share your goals with family and friends and ask them to remind if your actions are inconsistent with your goal. Have them hold you accountable for your actions around them. If you find yourself reaching for that piece of chocolate cake at a family get together, your partner can gently remind you that perhaps you would prefer a healthier alternative.
Specific Measurable Results – How do you know when you are on track? Having a plan is essential along with specific measurable results. Be specific. My diet beings January 1/10 and by February 25/ 10 I will have lost 5 lbs through healthy eating and exercise. By May 01/10 I have lost a total of 10 lbs and am now proudly sporting a size 10.

Circle of Influence – Your circle of influence are the people around you that you consistently spend time with. It is important when you are developing your new lifestyle or habit to align your circle of influence to support what you want to achieve. If your best friends are smokers and you have decided it’s time to quit you will need to ask them to under no circumstances offer you a cigarette. You may want to consider spending time with them in a non-smoking environment for the first month or two until you feel more confident and stable in your new lifestyle.

Forgive Yourself & Re-commit- so you had a piece of cheesecake, you missed the gym for a week, you blew your budget or had a cigarette at a party. Use this as an opportunity to re-commit, not to quit. One, two or even several poor choices does not mean you are unable to achieve your goal. Stop looking for excuses to throw in the towel! Look for the wisdom in your lapse. Any change and new behavior is a success – even if it didn’t stick. Remember the Edison philosophy, there is no failure but a process of elimination of what is effective. Waiting for next years for a fresh start is ridiculous. Stay in the game even when it’s tough.

Visualize - Many athletes use visualization techniques to achieve an outcome. Create a clear mental picture of you having achieved your goals. How does it feel and what are people saying to you as they congratulate you? Replay this image regularly. The more details the better! Visualize what it is like having achieved your goal. Visualize you are living it – taste it, feel it, smell it, see it, revel in it.

Affirmations – An affirmation is a positive statement about a result you would like to manifest. State each affirmation as a positive, the most powerful affirmations begin with “I am”. This triggers your un-conscious, governing mind to create a result aligned with the affirmation. After repeating the affirmation approximately ten thousand times your mind will then unconsciously engage in behaviors to support the affirmation. I know, ten thousand times sounds like work right? If you consider we have upwards of 70,000 thoughts a day – you’re having thoughts anyway so direct them to be resourceful. Also, ideally include a feeling and an action word in your affirmation for maximum results, such as “I am enjoying making healthy choices consistent with my health goals.” Affirmations are best repeated in the first 30 minutes and last 30 minutes of your day. This is when your mind is most susceptible to a programming. Replace negative self-talk/beliefs with life-enhancing ones.

Write it down – Create a few believable positive power statements that will keep you on track. Make them juicy enough to excite you and keep you motivated. Use the present tense and write them down so your unconscious will start working on them. There have been many longitudinal studies on goal manifestation that all support the importance of writing down your goals and “planting the seed” so to speak. Do IT! Statistics show people who write down their goals have over an 80% higher success rate of achieving them. Start an action journal.

Action- Make sure you do at least one thing every day that takes you closer to your goal, whether you are going to the gym or simply re-writing your Bucket List or chanting an affirmation.

Keep the Goal in existence – Each morning review your goals, your compelling reasons for new results and check in with your plan. Just like a child learning to walk this will take practice so address it with enthusiasm. No excuses- make your goal a priority and remember to repeat your power statements throughout the day.

Celebrate your success – It is essential to acknowledge any and all efforts, attempts and actions you take towards your goals. Get excited people! This is your life, be enthusiastic about what you’re up to and have some fun with it. Constantly remind yourself to place your attention on the progress you are making. A thousand mile journey always begins with one step. Take one step at a time until you are skipping along your path.

Robin is a Life Coach and the author of ‘Thinking Your Way to Happy!’ click the book to buy it now!

Thinking Your Way to Happy! is available at Chapters and also available for purchase from our store on this site.

The most profound message of the film, in my opinion is the scientific discovery, in identifying that our bio chemistry, our cells in our body, have a propensity to become addicted to emotions. That was all the talk about neural-nets. Essentially, scientist have determined, we create circumstance and situations to fulfill on the bio chemical needs of the cells of our body. When these cells crave emotions, the cells sends a message to the brain unconsciously the brain will scan the environment, until it finds a trigger or a way to justify the emotion the body is experiencing. The value is in recognizing, generally this emotion is similar to the dominate feelings of shortcomings in childhood. It’s very easy to see it in the people around us and ourselves when we tune in. This explains why we attract the same type of spouse over and over again, why we attract similar experiences repeatedly into our lives struggle with the same issues, though we may not like it – it’s a comfort level and familiarity and it reinforces our identity and it’s happening on a chemical level. As pointed out in the film the same receptors in the brain that are activated when an individual is addicted to heroin are used in this emotional bio chemical transaction on a cellular level. This why people find it so difficult to create lasting change in their lives.

In consideration, we are only free to expand as we are willing to develop awareness and are able to recognize these neural patterns – witness the process of urge for familiar negative emotions, diffuse the ‘justification’ or the emotions and subsequently step outside of them. In doing that we are freed up to reinforce positive emotions and positive neural nets or brain patterns and in turn, we can train ourselves to become addicted to positive emotions. As a result our ability to then influence reality is heighten as this process activates the creative parts and processes in the brain which the average individual is functioning from less than 10% of their life. Most actions, behavior, patterns, and daily emotional states are highly repetitious with approximately 90,000 thought a day at least 60% of those are repetitious, with more than half of those self deprecating. For the most part people are unconscious to these thoughts and these thoughts become the program per say, we are installing daily into the hard drive of our computer – true or not, very much a self fulfilling prophecy.

Basically, my understanding of Quantum Physics, in a nut shell is it the science of attempting to explain and measure, probabilities and the unexplainable. The more in depth a visit to quantum explanations at a certain point mathematically and logically it omit value. It just seizes to equate through our current scientific measurement, today. Which poses the questions: What does influence reality? Where do thoughts come from? What false paradigms are we living in? …Further to this they point out Christopher Columbus or Galelio’s discovery prior to that the entire populous believed at the time world was flat. That was real for everyone who lived during that time. It existed in reality through belief and agreement however, it was a paradigm proven from today’s scientific perspective to be false. This lead to the massive conversation of conditioning and many questions what paradigms are we living in currently that we can’t see because we are so condition to see only what we believe and what we accept already to be true? We seek to prove what we know not challenge our beliefs even when in our favor to do otherwise.

A very important focal point in all of this; we challenge our environment everyday and ask for proof, explanations and evidence for why things are or, how, or, if something will work yet as a planet fundamentally we have no rudimentary conclusive scientific, spiritually, religious, evolutionary consensus or otherwise to explain the living, thinking organism that we are and how we came to be. Human

So here with are with this science of which we like to equate with conclusive explanations and yet its not absolute. Meanwhile scientists are attempting to understand and measure the instrument (our brain), with the very instrument we are measuring with clearly not objective things we rarely think about.

This movie has valuable information that can change your life. It invites you to challenge your current paradigms simply through awareness and to consider stepping outside of all that you ‘think you know’ about the world – perhaps to see what’s really possible. Just like that exercise equipment and diet it may demand repetition to see extraordinary results.

If you love it, I suggest watching it until you feel you have a fair grasp of it and then move on to ‘Down the Rabbit Whole’. This is the 6 hour version of original footage and a few additional interviews. It gets more in depth and explains the processes eg; Do you recall the water example? It gets into several conditions Dr. Emoto created with that experiment through intention being the driving force behind the stunning and (one frightening) photos of water (blessed by a Zen Buddhist Monk). All that was applied to the water was thought and intention.

Enjoy!

This film is brilliant if you are feeling powerless or frustrated in any area of life or simply looking to attract more of what you want.

To purchase this video please click on the link below.

Ask Powerful Questions: What do I want to attract? What is getting in the way of my results? What structure resources can I put in my life to get results?

Replace Habits: If you give up too much TV, emotional spending or eating, smoking, coffee, emotional triggers, whatever it is, you will need to replace it with something such as Yoga, Water, journaling, writing that book, an affirmation, carrot sticks or acupuncture. It takes a couple of weeks to train yourself (your brain).

Embrace Discomfort: This is a sign you are on the right track. Unconsciously your brain may try and trick you back into the old habit, often with physical symptoms, possibly even slight anxiety. You can get through it by maintaining concentration on what you want.

Mix up Your Life! We are creature of habit even if that habit brings us great pain and suffering. Try new things, let go of repetitious behaviors especially those that don’t serve you. Take yourself off Auto Pilot! Choices, reactions, ranging from clothing, foods, exercise, words you use, how you get to work, movies you rent… anything new that involves thinking!

Support Your CNS: Anything that impacts your central nervous system will impact your ability to think clearly. To best support yourself during the ‘New Thinking Process’ eliminate or limit: Caffeine, alcohol, sugar, processed foods, tobacco, recreational drugs, long periods w/o food.

Activities that Increase Brain Chemicals: There are activities you can engage in that increase the feel good chemicals in your brain that support thinking. They are: exercises, having sex, listening to classical music and laughing. Sufficient amounts of sleep also impact the ability to think. It is not scientifically proven yet, however, my belief is volunteering, and contributing to others also does this.

Create a Vision: Create a vision of who you want to be, what you want in your life and replay the mental movie with intense positive emotion. Use Ghandi and other incredible achievers as an example of what can be done with a powerful focus.

Research Success Stories- There are many success stories that can inspire action. Jack Canfield, Billy Joel, Mark Ingles, Lucial Ball, Sylvester Stallone, Bill gates, Eminen, just to name a few.

Reinforce- Listen to books on CD, read motivational books or Biographies on people who have done what you want to.

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Just show up and ask for 5 minutes (sometimes this can work). I was in a position a few years ago where I would receive hundreds of resumes. I hired many of the people at the Air Canada Centre because the front desk called up saying; some one is here to see you it’s important to acknowledge that as a drop in you may be interrupting something so start the conversation around that. I am aware you are busy, however, it was important I drop off my resume in person. I am very passionate about …
Send a book to the person you would like an interview with. For example; if you were interested in getting George Stromos attention, someone who is passionate about people, humor and the environment you may send a book such the Average American Male or, a colorful biography something that peeks his interest and has him curious enough to meet with you.
Start as a volunteer and show your value. My brother starting volunteering as a computer programmer in the early 90s when there were more programmers than jobs. After two month they realize he was producing more result on a part time basis than the full time paid employee was. They subsequently let the other person go and hired him on full time.
Try something new. Be open to a ‘just for now’ career option and give it your best whatever it is. You never know what things can develop into or what thoughts and ideas you may provoke for business opportunities by being in that circumstance you may have deemed unwelcome.
Be resourceful – I spoke to a friend last week who is in between jobs. She loves to shop and instead of going into further debt she decided to list several items on website for sale. Now when she goes on her next shopping trip she can feel resourceful and proud of her ingenuity.
Get to know reception – The gate keeper in a company can often be your route in. They have significantly more power than one many think. Years ago one of my students was determined to work in the music industry. He had no experience but boy did he have passion! He stopped by EMI records weekly and got to know the staff. He would bring in coffees and chat for a few minutes every week, learned every ones name. He was genuinely interested and it was no secret he wanted to work there. Eventually he was offered a position a few month later when they were hiring. Passion sells!

During challenging times, you will miss opportunities if you are so mired in the guck of the poor me attitude. You won’t even see them, or, you will repel them almost instantly. This is a time to ask people for help and challenge your comfort zone. The world does not owe you, rather you owe yourself patience, creativity and resourcefulness.

Many people spend much of their time complaining about what’s missing, and what’s not working In their lives reserving joy and happiness for someday, one-day when: their mortgage is paid off, they get that dream job, they meet the one, their significant other changes, they retire or their business is finally successful. Meanwhile there are people in other countries who don’t even have the simple luxury of uncontaminated water and medical facilities. We have so much. Happiness is now, gratitude is now. We need to take the time with people to express our love for them, to swallow our foolish pride and apologize, to forgive those that have made mistakes and hurt us, especially family members and those closest to us. We can give up our intense judgment of people in our society. We dish out anger and blame freely and reserve love and contribution for a select few. Sadly, most of us have become numb to the level of negative focus in our daily lives, it has become like breathing.

We need to begin to acknowledge the people that touch our lives everyday and not just those in our family but the teenager that bags our groceries slowly, the people we work with, the TTC driver and the waitress at lunch even when the food is not just so. Instead of looking for reasons, excuses and justification to ‘get on it’ and be miserable – we could just as easily look for excuse to be happy, kind and generous regardless of how people are towards us. We need to be responsible for our own happiness and generating it moment to moment independent of what is going on around us; we can take on inspiring all those people who’s paths we cross. We live in a society where escape behaviors have become the norm.

People spend millions of dollars and hours on behaviors such as over indulgence in substances, excessive television and overeating to fill that void that instantly dissipates with actions such as; volunteering, random acts of kindness, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable or simply having the courage to pursue our dreams. And meanwhile we have so much more than some countries could ever dream of.There is a lack of reverence and spirituality present in our everyday lives. Globally our society have become a reflection of the news; we focus on all of the negative things happening and then throw in one little positive at the end of it that couldn’t possibly offer any balance. We lack social responsibility too. Those of us that have the ability to take action must take action! The sooner we do; the sooner and more likely others will follow suit.

We have hundreds of choices every day : to love versus hate, to encourage over discourage, to heal not hurt, to keep our power over giving it away, to let go instead of holding a grudge, to be inspired as opposed to negative, to laugh over crying, smile versus frowning, to give not take, to embrace diversity instead of judgment and to replace fear with courage. So who can you acknowledge today for what they have contributed to your life? Who can you apologize to? Who can you forgive? Who do you know that needs help that you could reach out to and make a difference for? What could you give up for a day, a week or a month to send a few dollars in the direction of someone who really needs it; perhaps your morning latte or a few hours of your time at shelter…

It really is that simple.What can you do today, big or small to make this world a brighter place? I invite you all to take this on and I would love to here back from any and all of you that do. One more thing to consider; if you knew you had one hour to live and you could make one phone call; who would you call? What would you say? And what the heck are you waiting for?! Fear, pride, certainty and stubbornness may never go away however, you can act independent of them and miraculous things can open up for you and others too.