Exercise – is by far the best replacement behavior. It burns calories, diminishes hunger, releases endorphins and energizes the spirit – it contributes to overall health and well being while toning the body. Depending on your starting point you can begin with small changes in activity. Take the stairs a few times a day at the office. Park 10 minutes from your destination. Use commercials during your favorite TV show to stretch or do a few jumping jacks. It’s that simple!

Become aware – Become conscious, aware of what you’re choosing and why. Stop justifying. Remember, thought has energy and energy gets stuck in the body. It is your thoughts about events that originally created the emotional eating pattern – it’s your thoughts that have the power to change the situation. Tune into the emotions you have when overeating and shortly thereafter. Is there something you’re in denial about?… Not wanting to acknowledge, pretending something didn’t happen?…Given up on something?…..Perhaps your punishing yourself – whatever it may be, in order to heal it you will need to feel it.

STOP Abusing your Body -The body is a chemical factory and our bio chemistry impact, trigger and create emotional states. For example sugar and caffeine both can stimulate stress hormones in the body contributing to mood fluctuation potentially driving you to binge more. When you mess with your body like this your thinking suffers too. This can be a vicious cycle.

Dominant Emotions - As you frequent an emotion you are training your body; the body begins to expect emotions it regularly visits and can even generate them. The more you beat yourself up emotionally, the more you will likely do so in the future – interrupt the limiting actions immediately! And congratulate yourself when you do.

Express Yourself – Do not repress feelings. Learn to communicate respectfully and honestly before you find yourself ruminating on a situation with a bag of chips in your hand with a tub of Hagen Daaz awaiting you.

Get Out Of Victimville!
We’ve all had a chance to visit Victimville at one time or another. It’s no fun at all. Victimville is where you may visit when you become prey to a life choice, a person, or, if you break it down, your own thinking. If you are an emotional eater you have allowed yourself to become victim to something, figure out what that is and no longer indulge the urge when your victim thinking arises.

Create Neuro Associations - Begin to associate food with growing pant size not the sensory experience. You can associate self control with saying no to this habit.

Visit the Cost – Tune into what emotional eating is costing you in your life. Really allow yourself to feel the impact on yourself and others. What is your impact?….self esteem, intimacy, health issues, worrying the people around you…still worth it to indulge in Ben and Jerry’s?… I think not…

Create a MANTRA – Here’s mine. ‘Nothing tastes as good as lean feels. Moderation.’ Feeling wonderful in your own skin is marvelous and something everyone can experience – find a slogan or Mantra that reminds you of your commitment to emotional and physical well being.

Courses -Take a three day rah-rah course and really address the feelings, the blocks and obstacle in your life – in your thinking, that have you resort to emotional eating.

Train your Brain - Just like the process of training yourself to reach for food in a state of emotional reaction (though it was likely unconscious) you can now program the success trait to regularly exercise. Give up how you feel about it and just do it! Get to the gym, go for a walk, 20 minutes is all you need to reap the many benefits.

• Explore the three (3) fundamental Principles of Happy
• Undo the ‘Happiness as a Future Event’ attitude
• Laying the Foundation…

Science of Stress – What you need to know!

• Seven  (7)  Easy Tools to Minimize & Eliminate the Stress Bug
• Ten (10) Common Ways people create Self Induced Stress
• What Stress Really is….& How to Feel Better!

Recipe for a Great Life! – Workshop

• Three (3) Techniques for Letting Go
• The Blueprint  – Enthusiasm for Life! (what?– did you think you were a cat!)
• Reconnect with your Inner Sparkle

Bucket List Living - Workshop

• Be Coached on how to Create & Live (from) your Bucket List
• Design a Collage – Playful, Vivid , Colourful  and ALIVE!
• Discover how to Energize yourself and make time for Passionate Pursuits

Unlearning for Success – Breaking Old Patterns

• Disconnect from Negative Thinking & Procrastination
• Replace Self Sabotage & Old Habits
• Cultivate a Positive Decision Making Process

Body Wise 101– ‘The Chief function of the body is to transport the brain around’

• What you need to know about your Bio Chemistry
• Brain Chemistry , Nutrition  & Optimal Thinking
• Daily Steps to Feel Great in your Body!

NLP Basics – Neuro-linguistic Programming

• Easily Access Resourceful  Mental States
• Instant Rapport with Anyone
• Learn How to Read People
• Expedite Results
• Peak Performance Tools for all areas of Life

I had read many personal development books and ‘intellectually’ understood change but was not creating much in terms of new results in my life.  People would ask me for advice; I would give it to them based on my knowledge. Though I had ‘knowledge’, I had not reached wisdom – the application of knowledge. I understood the principles, yet had not learned them - a very significant distinction. Though people around me thought I was brilliant and wise, I was just reciting what I had read. Similar to the Professor who teaches Marketing yet has never owned his own company, or worked out site of the University -  it’s concept verses experience.

I correlate it to weight loss, weight loss is something hundreds of millions of people understand conceptually – eat healthy, be active, exercise, create a healthy life style – simple to understand, but they lack the ability to apply the information. In this case knowing does NOT make a difference. 

Landmark is a conversation, a 3 day conversation between the participants and a well trainer, dynamic Facilitator. This conversation takes place with people, just like you and me,  from all walks of life.  In the Landmark Forum, I discovered how much I limited myself and how my past experiences, were in fact governing my life and my future.  It’s was essentially the process of recognizing and subsequently releasing things that were not me. Sounds a bit strange, I know…I identified  the areas of my life where I was reactive (I had no idea!) and learned I could respond instead.  The result; I am now able to choose my path from what is possible in the future, without unconscious direction from my personal history.

I learned (emotionally), I create my future and my life. My history and perceived failures only impact me when I give them attention and make them a part of my identity. With the tools from the Landmark Forum I trained myself to focus on what is possible and what I could give the world when I reconnected with my dreams.

Since 2000, I have written a book ‘Thinking Your Way to Happy!’ I have trained in many Coaching techniques.  I have become a Strategic Change Coach an Expert in the Media on the human condition and I have traveled globally and been truly privileged  to share my empowering philosophies with High Risk Youth, Corporations, Women’s Shelters, The Board of Education, CEO’s, Celebrities, Homeless People... Humanity.  Bottom line, I would not have taken this path without this program.

Is life perfect you ask? NO. Not at all. In fact, I probably have more challenges now because I am going after the things I really want – things I’ve dreamed up. Yet, I can honestly say I am living, (not just alive and breathing), I have courage most of the time, and there is a certain freedom in testing myself.

This course is offered globally, I believe in 45 Counties or more…  it takes courage to let go of what is familiar, even the stuff you don’t like – find a way….  This course will uncover ways to recreate yourself in Business, Love, Communication, Family, Health and Community. If you are considering this program and have questions, please send me an e-mail (or just sign up) – the Toronto Centre phone number is 416.777.2230.

Doing research?…

Remember, people find negative things to say about Oprah and Obama (come on, he inherited a mess!).  Personally, I see them as two extraordinary individuals that are consistently focused on unity, contribution and healing this world. Some people criticize Mother Teresa’s work …. the fact is - she helped and contributed to millions. So, just like any new food, sport or movie, choose for yourself!

In the case of Tiger Woods here is a man who had achieved so much so young. The world admired his skills, his focus and ability to command unprecedented sums of sponsorship dollars.  We enthusiastically cheered for him as he changed the face of golf and broke an ancient color barrier when he slipped on that legendary green jacket after winning the Masters. We were so proud of you Tiger. We were proud of all you represented. Then he married a stunning women, grace – is the word that comes to mind after the entire world witnessed her personal life tragically fall apart.  Incredibly she carried on with poise, an unwavering commitment to her children, loyalty to her family, to her husband. We know so little about her and yet, I believe most would agree she has handled this situation remarkably well. The one woman who didn’t sell out – the one who could have easily justified doing so. You married a classy lady Tiger.

So what compels a seemingly smart man, that appeared to have everything – to trade in such an exceptional women for a Hooters girl? (with all due respect to the Hooters girls they are making a living)
In this case I would suggest a few possibilities – emptiness being one. The human void, we have all experienced after pursuing a goal only to realize it did not hold the key to happiness as once thought. Of course, human beings love to conquer things. So here he is, at the top of his profession, the wealthiest athlete in the world, the perfect family.  Couldn’t that be enough?… Sadly, I would surmise the only time Tiger was feeling remotely alive recently, was when he was off with one of his ‘mistresses’ or devising a clever rendezvous.

Another factor to look at is how we have raised men. The majority of men in our generation are raised to be strong, you know;  suck it up. We see little boys fall down and scrape their knee only to be told ‘you’re okay, walk it off, be a man’.  Really? A three year old cannot express himself? Clearly this isn’t working….  A female child in the same situation is given a hug and hears; ‘that hurt didn’t it…are you alright?’ – validation.  The antiquity of such parenting techniques reverberate throughout our misguided society and are reflective in the ever soaring divorce rate. Like it or not, with good intentions, we have conditioned men such that there are few times when they can truly express themselves without judgment – without being called a wuss. – Sex is one act where we’ve granted permission to be close and connected, somewhat vulnerable, even if only physically – they’re allowed to express emotion around sex. The rest of the time they are expected to hold it together and be strong. Are they not human beings with feeling and insecurities like the rest of us?…

Dr. Candice Pert, Author and Scientist discovered the opiate receptors in the brain back in the 70’s. It’s a fascinating read for anyone to better understand behavior of self and those around you – including obesity, drugs etc. – Entitled ‘Molecules of Emotion’ it touches on emotional addictions and recognizes that the body unconsciously creates (and possibly even attracts) circumstances and situations to fulfill on the bio chemical needs of the cells of the body. Evidence our bodies experience emotional addictions. It is possible people who cheat may have experienced a great deal of guilt as a child, felt not good enough, or some version of this to the point it became part of their identity – a biological pull to engage in a familiar emotion .  So when coupled with a poor decision making process, stress, or a few beers … the urge may seem irresistible and the intellect is all too happy to justify it without considering consequence.   Human beings can justify anything, if you doubt this just turn on the news for 2 minutes.

A common justification for cheaters is ‘it was only sex, it didn’t mean anything’, some people  are able to disconnect, or, are so emotionally numb that another person becomes a masturbation tool. Though that may be the experience for the male, when you love someone, that involves caring what things mean for the other person involved… nothing to the philanderer, could mean utter devastation to the person on the receiving end of the infidelity not to mention the people around them that pick up the pieces, or the children that witness their mother having a breakdown or even growing up with the stigma that Dad is a dog.  Sex addictions are becoming common place. Is porn not a better option if you are in a relationship?

Lastly, with an under developed sense of self worth,  there is a propensity to look outside for a temporary and false sense of well being, an escape . The process of seeking externally to fill the empties, a void, something that can only be filled from within. Some use drug, many food, and increasingly sex. And yes, you can absolutely be the best in your field of endeavor and still carry feelings of ill worth.

Perhaps, this is a wake up call for what is not working in the world.  Much like drinking and driving, there is a hefty residual impact and terrific ramification when people fore go logic and common sense for careless immediate gratification, that generally leave them feeling empty and guilty a short time afterward anyway. So you have trained yourself to take a taxi – why not take up tantra with your partner of admit that it’s over and leave like a man…that has integrity.

A duplicitous lifestyle hurts all parties involved and creates a big mess that can take a life time for many to recover from.  Tiger has disappointed the public; (big deal, we’ll get over it) – but likely, his children and family will not.  Personally, he is in for a lifetime of self loathing and for what?…

Being a decent human is a choice.  Not always an easy one, but a choice all the same.  A recent study indicates that after our parents, our romantic relationships directly affect and shape who we become in life.  So, to all of you (male and female) who have cheated, or, are considering doing so; care enough for that person you say you love, those children you claim to care for. Memories cannot be erased and healing deep emotional wounds is an energetic and timely process that requires tremendous fortitude – not everyone has, or is capable of this level of healing.

How nice it would be if the philanderer had some distinguishing features, like a bindi dot, and could be matched together with other philanderers and live happily ever after on antibiotics!