Be flexible though the bride and groom should have the final decision. Help family members get involved and ask for feedback. They’re excited too! Thank people for their input. Always remember what doesn’t go exactly according to plan may become a cherished wedding story in the years to come.
Remember The Wedding is one day – Keep things in perspective, though it is an important one, what ultimately matters is a healthy partnership, essentially the marriage and choosing a partner you can be an effective team with. Stay focused on the bigger picture as little unexpected surprises arrive during the planning.
Communicate effectively family issues have a propensity to arise with wedding planning. Heightened emotions can interfere with communication. Do your best to resolve old issue that arise and remember your families intentions IS for your day to be wonderful even if they are acting a little bit insane right now! It’s just they may have a different vision than you do, of how that looks.
Exercise Acceptance – Stress is created when we deem a situation, person or event wrong or imply it should be another way than it is in reality. Go with the flow. Obstacle and delays will happen and trust me, 10 years from now you will no longer be aware of your anxiety over severing fish or chicken! Be flexible in the name of FUN!
Learn to Let Go – Very important, in life and with weddings. Let go of perfection. Let go of judgment. Let go of how you feel people ‘should be’ it will promote all round harmony and make you much happier!
Be Well Organized – Organization combats fear and uncertainty – Get a binder and some tabs and organize your wedding details. Having everything in one place will make things much easier. Have sleeves to place pictures and visions from wedding magazines of what you would like your day to look like. You could even go one step further and create a Vision Board on construction paper visually detailing all of your wishes.
Stress Management managing stress and anxiety effectively is essential in having the wedding be a positive experience for you and your partner. Ideally you want the wedding planning to bring you closer and support intimacy. Stress can interfere with this goal so be careful to manage stress by getting sufficient sleep, exercise (the quickest easiest neuro enhancer), healthy meals with increase protein can help reduce stress levels and also taking time to do yoga, meditate or something relaxing where you allow yourself to slow the mind down and really be in the moment. Be advised that anything that offers a temporary high; sugar, caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, will eventually create a low so watch what you ingest -more so when under stress. Remember to connect with your partner too, take walks and do things unrelated to the wedding where you both relax and have some fun.
Address the source of the stress if you are exceeding your budget does it make sense? Is there another way to communicate with your new in laws? Are you feeling threatened about something? There is a solution for everything so get your head around whatever is going on and find it, tackle it and move on to more important focuses to direct your attention.
Obstacles – Give up the urge to complain or, restrict yourself with a time limit to vent on what is going wrong. Spend the rest of the time focused on brain storming on solution. The things you focus your attention expand.
Respond verses React – The more that we experience an emotion, the more probable it is you will experience it again and with frequency. So stop with the tantrums – Take a deep breath, step back from the situation and choose your response. A wedding drama is the last thing you need! Give up the urge to blame or react.
Get people involve allow people to contribute. Though this day is for the bride and groom it is also two families merging. You may not want your mother in law influencing your dress choice however, she may be perfect to bounce ideas regarding the decor or floral arrangements. Weddings are about relationships and communication when you minus all the details. Be considerate, forgiving and get people involved where you can.
Stay focus on the now Like having a child, you may find everyone has something to say about your wedding. People may offer wedding horror stories you’d prefer not to hear. You may find you’re showered with gifts, yet simultaneously bombarded with unsolicited suggestions and advice from well intentioned family and friends that are so engaged in their own world they are not aware they’re imposing they’re experiences on you. Be bold, thank people for sharing and politely let people know when they should ease up. Constantly remind yourself that though the wedding day is a special day – it is only one day in the context of a healthy marriage.
Robin H-C is a Life Coach and the author of Thinking Your Way to Happy! available at Chapters and Amazon online.
Tags: easy, marriage, planning, preperation, stress, tips, wed, wedding
